on blame

Written By Kim Manunui

When things go wrong, we are very quick to blame something or someone else, out there. 

People doing or not doing things, mistakes being made, even this whole pandemic mess we find ourselves in. The first thing we tend to ask is: "Who's fault it is?”

This knee jerk response happens so fast that we often don’t realise the negative impact it has on us, on the situation at hand and on the people involved. 

Firstly, when we blame, we become the victim. We give away our agency to the thing we blame. It also fixates our attention to the problem rather than make it available to the solutions. Finally, when we blame others we tend to dehumanise them and are unable to separate the behaviour from the human being. This can damage trust and erode our relationships

“Blame is simply the discharge of discomfort and is in an inverse relationship with accountability. Accountability is by definition a vulnerable process.” Brené Brown

Here is a great funny, yet poignant video that elaborates on this idea.

"When you plant lettuce, if it doesn’t grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look into the reason why its not doing so well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet, if we have problems with our friends, or family or colleagues, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand and you show that you understand, the situation will change."

Blame never helps, from Peace is every step by Thich Nhat Hanh

Kim Manunui

Hi, I’m Kim and I work with a great team to help individuals, as well as small and not so small businesses get their message, product and services to the world using digital media and creating wonderful websites that don’t cost the earth.

I was born in Canada, and grew up around Vancouver and the mountains of British Columbia. My love of pristine environments led me to New Zealand and eventually to the mountains, lakes and rivers of the central North Island which is home. My family’s heritage is here, and it’s from here that Korio traverses the planet.

The digital world is never static and neither are we.

And I say ‘we’ because I work with an awesome group of talented people who I gather together as required to complete a project.  Whatever your business, not-for-profit or individual needs are we gather the best team to get the job done.

Collaboratively we are creative, share sustainable values and work hard for great outcomes because that’s the buzz of satisfaction that drives us.

If you have an audience and market to reach, we can make that happen. Creative design, words that work and smart behind the scenes stuff that cuts through the online noise. We’ll design your website and then build it. We’ll manage the content as well as all your hosting needs. We can handle your online advertising so you get noticed,
and we’ll manage your social media presence so you get the clicks, likes and engagement to grow your business. All within the budget you set, because none of this needs to cost the earth.  And the job doesn’t stop when your website goes live. We are your virtual business partner.

https://www.korio.co.nz
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